Are you here to give me treats? Or scratch my neck? Or dish up some wet food? Or give me treats and wet food and neck scratches and dry food and more treats and back scratches? Did I mention I’m a cat? It’s true. In fact, I’m a cat with numerous problems. Problems like the vacuum monster that seems to pop up once a week. Problems like the squirrel who mocks me through the window. Look, I’ll be honest: I’m a bit stressed out. Like, I have to take a nap right now, and then I’ll need a cat bath, and this is all building up to another nap. This whole being a cat thing is exhausting. Seriously. You thing you’ve got it bad? Try walking a mile in my paws someday. Sigh.